I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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