You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
