I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
