Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
