Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Randomize
