Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
