and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
