A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
