Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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