Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
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