That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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