remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
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