i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
