every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
