Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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