that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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