Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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