bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
