well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Randomize
