Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Randomize
