I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
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Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
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Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize