you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
