That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
