chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
She bit a glass in half.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I have feelings that need drinking.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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