I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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