On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
