if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
