i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
