um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Randomize
