The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Drake has all the answers
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
