I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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