to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
