Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
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