you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
