my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
