this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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