I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Randomize
