i will never coherently bang her
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I'm just crazy horny about you
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
