we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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