I love black thongs
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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