Don't you send me to vm
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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