Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
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