I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
