I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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