guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
