My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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