The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
