i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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