i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Randomize
