dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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