i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
