I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
