do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
