You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize