i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
