I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
