we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize