I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
