I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize
