He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
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