love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
