like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
