I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
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