make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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