Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
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so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
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